BDSM & Fetish

My Assessment of Spanking

Posted on Jun 24, 2013 in BDSM & Fetish, Blog, Photos

Ah, Spanking – my first love!

As a child, I remember being drawn to movies that had abbreviated spanking and discipline scenes in them (specially old black and white films from the 30′s and 40′s). Of course, these scenes were always very short, never more than a couple seconds and contained mostly implied content. I recall, however, being enthralled by these scenarios. I wanted to know more – what happened afterwards? Did it hurt? Did he/she cry? As I got older (and armed with the internet at my disposal) I started researching, reading everything I could get my hands on - from instruction guides, to first hand accounts, even erotica. It wasn’t long before I asked a girlfriend of mine ( yes, that’s girlfriend as in romantic interest) to spank me. I liked it! A lot. Soon after, I was wanting to return the favor, and found that had a sincere fetish for erotic discipline. Spanking, in many ways, was what first introduced me to the BDSM lifestyle. It was the first little blip on my kinky radar and it’s been a slipper slope ever since.

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Me, getting spanked by Princess Donna during a Kink.com shoot

Funnily enough, I’m not alone in this fact. Spanking seems to be something of a “gateway” activity for many people involved in S&M. I would even go so far as to say that it’s becoming mainstream. Mention spanking in a crowd and most of the individuals present will laugh it off, and few might even admit that they’ve tried it (or that they’ve always wanted to). There are references to spanking all over the web, in television shows and films, even pop culture seems to have taken a shine the idea of domestic discipline. The fact is, the world is full of spankos and finally, it’s becoming something socially acceptable. Now, if only I could some how make they happen with needles and caning….

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Yours truly taking Audie Sinclair in hand during a video shoot

Today, spanking remains one of my favorite activities and one that I often utilize during in-person sessions. I like it because it can be intense and painful, soft and sensual, humiliating and cruel; there is no limit to the ways in which I can take a boy (or girl) in hand. It fits seamlessly into most role-plays (who wants to be my unruly school boy or disobedient assistant?) and can happen in any time, in any setting. I can use toys, or just my hand. I can scold and lecture you during your punishment, or I can tease you, arouse you until your begging me to spank you even harder. Quite frankly, having a squirming body over my lap while I administer a few good, stinging slaps fills me with joy. Watching the skin turn pink and warm makes me smile and hearing those adorable little whimpers and they try to struggle is one of my biggest hot buttons. Want to turn me on? Bend over and ask me, very sweetly, for a spanking…

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Bet you wish you were here

Well, now that I’m all hot and botherd, who is going to get their ass over to my dungeon so that I can make them squeal? ;)

Kisses,

Noel

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What makes a good session?

Posted on Jun 10, 2013 in BDSM & Fetish, Blog

I’ve had this question come up a lot lately – usually from boys who are looking to impress me during play or are curious as to how to get (and stay) on my good side during a session.

The answer is actually very simple: you.

I’m not a fetishist in nature, meaning that it isn’t a particular activity or implement that attracts me to BDSM. What I enjoy most is watching you squirm, getting into your head and learning what makes you afraid, what causes you pain, what makes you shiver, what makes you squeal and what brings you to the very edge of orgasm. Once I know all of those things, I get to make you dance for me by applying all kinds of different sensations. I’m particularly fond of tangling pain and pleasure together so that you aren’t sure if you want me to stop, or never stop.

It brings me joy to watch you writhe and whimper, beg me for more or less. I like to look into your eyes when I apply pain, watch your pupils dilate. I certainly get a kick out of watching your facial expressions as you try to fight pleasure, to stop yourself from making noise or asking for more. The more reactive you are, the better the session is for me. I’m very verbal in nature, so I enjoy asking you questions while I toy with you, and force you to answer (perhaps with a specific kind of motivation). The more music you make for me, the happier I am.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt to mind your manners, and shower me with tokens of your gratitude – but the real fun in in for me comes from your expression.

Oh, don’t worry if you tend to be stoic or silent – I’ll get it out of you one way of another….

Kisses,

Noel

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My personal brand of hypnosis

Posted on Jun 4, 2013 in BDSM & Fetish, Blog, Photos

For any of you who may be following my video updates, you may have noticed that I’ve been featuring videos that include hypnotic themes and hypnotic inductions recently. For the most part, my personal band of domination has been less about mind control, and more about using your desires and fetishes to motivate you into obedience.  However, lately, I’ve been delving more and more into the world of erotic hypnosis.

Why does this mean? It means I’m slipping into your submissive little mind and brings all your secret desires, needs, wants and obsessions to the surface. I enjoy taking your dirty little secrets and making you face them – not matter how embarrassed, ashamed or turned on you are in the process. I will use these things to twist you, turn you and make you into the perfect pet. There are no limits to where I can take you, how far I can push. And of course, you’ll be begging me for it the entire time.

There are lots of ways to go about this. Different Domme’s use different techniques for putting you under (some effectively, some not so much). As a student in psychology, I’m finally putting some of my traditional education to use, and applying real kinetic indication techniques to slowly lull you into a relaxed open state.

And once I’m there, God only knows what will happen…

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Fetish vs Paraphilia

Posted on Apr 20, 2013 in BDSM & Fetish, Blog

Sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism, is the sexual arousal a person receives from a physical object, or from a specific situation. The object or situation of interest is called the fetish; the person who has a fetish for that object/situation is a fetishist.[1

Paraphilia (from Greek para παρά = beside and -philia φιλία = friendship, meaning love) describes the experience of intense sexual arousal to highly atypical objects, situations, or individuals.[1] Examples include sexual interests that can motivate committing sexual offences—such as pedophilia, zoophilia, sexual sadism, and exhibitionism—but also include many harmless sexual interests, such as transvestism. There is no consensus for any precise border between unusual personal sexual tastes and paraphilic ones, and multiple, overlapping definitions exist. There is debate over which, if any, of the paraphilias should be listed in diagnostic manuals, such as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or the International Classification of Diseases.

Many of you may know that yours truly has gone back to university and is currently in pursuit of a degree in psychology and sexual behavior. Imagine that, right? I could write my dissertation now, given all of the informal research and experiences I’ve had over the last several years. I must, however, start from the bottom and work my way up – so I’ve been working hard and filing away all sorts of information for my undergrad degree.

This last quarter I took a required abnormal behavior in psychology course which turned out to be both disheartening and enlightening all at the same time. Let me tell you why…

As a BDSM professional and lifestyle player, I am used to fighting the good fight when it comes to defending my personal and professional proclivities. One learns when it’s a good time to educate, and when to hold your tongue.  During the course of my class, however, I found myself moved to speak up on more than one occasion.

It was presented to the class (of over 100 student I might add) that those of us who have fetishes have a deficiency, and should be considered sexually deviant. The instructor seemed rather confused when it came to differentiating between a Fetish and a Paraphilia. For those of you who are also a little foggy on what each of these things are let me explain in layman’s terms;

A fetish is something that always causes sexual arousal for an individual. It can be an object, a situation, a body part or even a specific location. A personal who has a fetish for rubber has the same psychosexual mechanism as the a person who has a fetish for large breasts. Whatever it is, it always works for you. It always turns you on. That doesn’t mean it’s the only thing that turns you on.

A paraphilia, on the other hand, is just that – a sexual fixation that is so intense that you absolutely need it in order to achieve arousal.

A fetish is not a deficiency because it does not interfere with sexual normativity. A paraphilia is because it requires a specific person/place/thing in order for sexual arousal to exist. Often times a persons sexual identity will get to ingrained with the paraphilia so that they cannot conceive of a sexual experience without that particular article being present.

A huge difference, right?

So when I heard the instructor presenting information that was blatantly false to a group of students who would, obviously, accept this information as truth, I felt that is was my duty as a BDSM professional to correct them. This resulted in a battle of epic proportions.

But don’t worry; I won in the end (of course) :)

Kisses,

Noel

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